


Broken

by SerenVic



Series: Lost and Found [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:39:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7628893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenVic/pseuds/SerenVic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has left, and no one knows where he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

I’m sorry I’m a coward and can’t say this to your faces. I’ve met someone and I don’t have to share them.   
I’ve decided to leave Britain, as there is nothing for me here.  
I’m sorry.

Draco took the letter out of Severus’s hand, both of them too stunned to say anything. He looked at Severus tears threatening to spill and saw that the older man had shut down, he reached out but Severus turned on his heel and walked upstairs. There were slams as doors of cupboards were opened and flung shut, drawers opened and he returned to the top of the stairs.

‘Potter has gone with everything of his; it’s as if he was never here. He always did like to make a bold statement.’

Draco leaned against the wall, thinking over the last few months, Harry had been increasingly quiet, he and Severus had talked about it, and Harry could struggle at times with depression and self doubt. The nightmares had seemingly been under control they both had worked hard on a potion that wasn’t addictive and would keep the demons at bay. Harry’s childhood most of all seemed to seep in and destroy his sleep. They just hoped he was having a bad patch and tried to surround him with love and that he would eventually tell them what was bothering him.

‘I don’t understand Severus’

Draco was holding on by a thread, he wanted to be held and to see the scruffy third of their triad bounce through the door, but it seemed neither was forthcoming. As usual Severus when overwhelmed with emotion went into an almost robotic state.

Severus slowly made his way down the stairs. He reached out slowly and laid his hand on Draco’s arm. He slowly rubbed it and bowed his head and walked on through to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Draco followed and stood behind him laying his forehead on Severus’s back.

‘We have to find him’

The back beneath his forehead went rigid,

‘No, he made his choice Potter does not ever do anything casually. If he’s left he’s left. There’s no point talking or even thinking about this.’

Draco’s heart broke a little more, there was no discussing things with Severus when he was like this and part of him agreed with Severus, Harry would not casually on a whim do this. If all his things had gone it showed thought and careful planning, not things Harry was usually known for. He suddenly looked up at their clock and it was then the finality of it sunk in. Harry had removed himself so that there was no knowing where he was, it was just Severus and him both pointing to home and he finally sank to a kitchen chair and let the tears fall. Slowly Severus sat next to him and wrapped his arms around him and Draco could feel the shudders as Severus gave into his grief.

***

It was a bleak couple of days as Severus and Draco navigated now being a duo not a trio. There were so many awkward moments of waiting for Harry to do something, say something or just physically be there. The absence was painful and deep and neither of them were talking to each other much but in the nights they clung to each other frantically, they would make love furiously like the end of the world yet there was no tenderness no little brushes of affection in the day Harry leaving had left them hurt, raw and unable to properly communicate one with another. They had always been an awkward pair, they had come together in violent desperation after the war and their only way to communicate was through animalistic sex and spiky words. It was when they had to work together to create a potion for Harry to help the nightmares they found themselves softening and working better, it became clear that somehow Harry made them better men but that they helped stabilize a Harry who equally was lost and floundering after the war.

It had taken a long time for the rest of the world to see that as a trio they were deeply committed to each other, Harry flowed so easily between their spiky edges and they helped him to cope with the aftermath of being a horcrux, his terror of harboring such darkness. It seemed their understanding and having been touched by such evil made him less erratic and calmed him down. For him to leave them was not only bewildering, but also condemning the remaining duo as their relationship would probably not withstand his loss. For him to leave after all the pain of the world struggling to accept them and then finally people giving them that acceptance seemed cruel. How could he turn his back on 7 years? 

***

Draco finally lost it when Hermione’s head popped up in the fireplace asking if Harry was around as she needed a babysitter. In the mundane nature of the request and the sight of her face casually asking for him Draco spectacularly lost his temper and hexed everything in sight. Severus ran into the room and grabbing Draco turned a vehemently angry face to her

‘he’s not here he’s with his new love’

With a stabbing wand movement the fireplace was closed. Throughout the night there were many attempts to contact them but they refused each one and slowly, silently they both drank far too much and eventually they both passed out where they sat, both lost in dark thoughts and despair, unable to reach out to each other.

***

The next morning Severus was the first to rise, wincing as he made his way to the lab he grabbed 2 hangover potions and made his way back to Draco and shaking his shoulder he offered the potion to Draco. They sat there, their positions echoing each other heads bent and unable to look at one another. Draco finally spoke

‘She didn’t know where he was. That doesn’t make sense; after all he tells her everything. Are we missing something Severus, he knows that this only works with all of us, he went away for 3 days last year and when he returned we had all but destroyed the house.’

Severus remained silent, Draco could feel his irritation rise,

‘Do you not care, it’s not just about his absence now it’s about us. We never really worked without him it was all sex, violence and sharp words. I know I love you and he’s changed us so that we work better together but I don’t think we’ve changed enough and I don’t understand how he has found someone who can help him like we do. It was only a month ago his nightmares were so bad we had to give him that potion that made him sleep for 24 hours, he was so mad then so grateful. When did he meet someone anyway?’

Severus lifted his head

‘I don’t know.’

‘You don’t know? You don’t know what? If you love me without him? If you and I can be without him? How he met someone? Who is helping him? What, Severus, What!!!’

Severus winced and slowly looked Draco in the eye and as they regarded each other they both saw the depth of pain they were both in. If Harry was here he would have pulled them into him and hugged them but it seemed almost the gap was too large. 

The fire place pinged, Draco waved his wand and it was opened. Hermione’s frazzled face appeared, her face was blotchy and tense and it was obvious something was wrong.

There was silence, and Hermione finally said

‘I’m coming through’

As she stepped through, Severus and Draco silently regarded her.

‘last night when you said he had gone I had no idea, Ron has been trying to get hold of him and asking people but no one knows where he is. When I saw him 5 days ago all he could talk about was going on holiday with the pair of you and...’ She frowned, leaned down and shouted

‘Ron We need you NOW’ 

Severus and Draco both flinched at the harassed and sharp tone. An exhausted Ron looked through, he then stepped through it was obvious to both Severus and Draco he had no idea where Harry was.

‘I’ve tried everywhere, Bill has been all over the place and asked in Gringotts all he got from them is that Harry withdrew an awfully large amount of gold in muggle currency. Bill said it must have been an enormous sum as the goblins looked in pain as they told him. Charlie has contacted all his contacts in Europe but nothing. Ginny hasn’t heard anything on the Quidditch circuit and George has heard nothing. Even Percy has tried to find out things but no one has any idea’

Ron stopped and looked lost and then finally offered

‘I asked Mum and Dad and they looked on the clock and His name is not there either, so we looked on ours and it’s not there, so I tried putting a hand on our clock again for him and it just flies off which means he’s done something to make sure we can’t find him by clock.’

They all stood still, that was a lot of planning for Harry, let’s be honest killing Voldermort had taken less planning and more guess work.

As they looked at each other Severus finally voiced what they all thought.

‘Something is not right.’

***

The next few days the Weasley family and all its spouses, children and friends surrounded Severus and Draco with care but consideration for their need for a little space. Each person offered up their last memory with Harry to be viewed in the Pensieve and slowly as they watched the memories no clues seemed to be emerging.

Hermione sat and thought, Severus made potions as a way of distracting himself and Draco instead of making his own stood near him and assisted. In the darkness of their loss and confusion they were slowly to work together and offer each other comfort. It started just with a hand on an arm, a spontaneous hug and the nights became less about frantic lovemaking but about holding each other and gentle kisses. As they struggled with their loss they seemed to learn to be a couple and in some way it was a comfort and in others it was heartbreaking.

It was on the 4th day that Hermione came into the lab and said,

‘We’ve watched all the memories and listened carefully and not got any clues, but how about we watch them in order and just look at Harry not listen, look.’

Severus and Draco turned to each other, both thinking why hadn’t they thought of that. 

Slowly the memories were put in order including those of the children, as they stepped into the memories and just watched him in the 13 or so memories and just focused on Harry it became clear he was losing weight, his skin was looking more and more unwell and his eyes were deadening with each memory. Severus and Draco memories were last and it was the same memory of them making love the night before he left.

The family waited anxiously as they left the 2 men to watch the deeply personal memory. Draco felt in physical pain as he watched them it was obvious something was wrong, Harry’s face was full of such sorrow and pain, and he felt Severus clutch his hand. As they saw the 3 of them curled up in bed, Harry’s anguish was so clear they were shocked they had missed it.

***

The Weasleys and the couple sat silently in their front room. They all were thinking where was he? Why hadn’t he told anyone where he was going? What was so wrong? How could they find him?

Severus reached out and pulled Draco to him holding him tight. The trio had never been demonstrative, Harry being the most but Severus realized that he couldn’t lose Draco whether they found Harry or not. He realized the best way to make sure he and Draco stayed together was to remember the way that Harry had helped them soften edges. He inwardly laughed as he realized he was channeling Potter and how the green eyed man would find it funny. In return Draco felt safe and secure in Severus’s arms and the feeling was lovely but a little strange as he was used to feeling like this in Harry’s arms. Harry just couldn’t sit in the front room without being attached to at least one of them preferably both and Draco was starting to understand that he and Severus needed that and enjoyed it but had put it down to just being Harry’s need not their own.

Severus broke the silence

‘Do you think’ he hesitantly started and then looked at Draco, Draco finished his thought

‘that we drove him away’

Hermione immediately shushed them ‘No. He loves you both. This is something else. He’s not well, the fact he’s taken muggle currency means he wants to hide completely. Its either a curse but let’s be honest that’s probably not true as this seems to have been developing over the last 6 months, so I think our best bet it’s something that he thinks magic can’t fix.’

Molly who had been remarkably quiet and self restrained through all this though Arthur was bearing the brunt of her worry in private spoke up. 

‘If he’s in the muggle world is there a way we can find him? There must be a way of looking for him, Hermione you know how that world works, could your parents help us?’

‘I think so, if he hasn’t changed his name we may be able to. I’ll go see them tomorrow. I hate to say this though’ she paused

Severus looked at her intently and said quietly 

‘you were wondering if we do find him and he doesn’t want to come back’

Draco looked shocked and the rest of room stunned by the thought.

Severus continued ‘I don’t think he would have done all this if he had had enough he’d have blown up at us spectacularly and stormed out leaving us in no uncertain terms of his feelings. This is so planned, so clinical it strikes me he’s doing what he thinks best for us not himself. The note was to make us hate him not justify his leaving. I think Harry ...’ Severus caught himself as he could feel emotions bubbling up ‘I think he’s doing this out of love’

Draco hugged him tight. ‘When we find him I’m going to hex him into next week and then never let him go.’

It was a room full of worry but also care and as Severus and Draco sat there it became apparent to them exactly how much Harry had added to their lives without them knowing. They weren’t alone in their grief and worry and they had help as much as they needed. As they slowly disbanded and the two men made their way to bed, they curled up around each other and enjoyed the warmth of the other. With a gentle kiss the 2 men went to sleep easier than they had since the nightmare started.

***

Meanwhile, Harry was lost in thought in a small hotel in New York. His body racked with pain and his heart shattered he was curled up under the covers missing everyone desperately. He didn’t regret what he had done, it was in his mind, the right decision but he was so alone and wondered if maybe he should have just ended his life instead of coming here to New York.


End file.
